When Your Faith in Healing is Tested.

I have always believed the Word of Faith message. I know the Bible says it is God’s will to heal. I have preached it, I have confessed it, I have staked my life on it. But nothing has tested that belief more than watching my own child suffer right in front of me.

My three-year-old son is right now in a battle for his health. A dog bite on his face led to an infection that has spiraled into surgery after surgery. He has already endured three, with more still ahead. Every day, for a little over a week, he has to go through painful wound cleanings. for 3 days the nurses and doctors have had stick a needle 2-3 inches into his little leg for the antibiotics, and every time he cries from pain and fear. And every moment I hear him scream or cry in pain, I feel anger rising in me. Anger at what he is enduring. Anger at the suffering. Anger at the way life can seem so unfair and unjust.

3 days after the first surgery infection set in.

It is one thing to pray and believe for your own healing. It is another thing entirely to hold your child’s hand while he cries out in pain.

I will be honest.

I have questioned everything during these long days and nights. I have stared at his swollen little face as pus fan down his face out of an infected wound and whispered, “God, where are You? If You really will to heal, why is this happening? Why does it feel like nothing is happening even though I am standing in faith?”

I wrestle. I cry. I question. But no matter how deep the emotions run, I cannot land anywhere else except here. Healing is the will of God. His Word is still true. His promises have not changed.

My son’s struggle does not rewrite Scripture.

That does not make it easier to watch him hurt. It does not erase the tears when the wound is cleaned. It does not make the medical bills disappear. What it does is anchor me when everything around me feels like it is falling apart. I go back to the Word of God and remind myself: faith does not deny reality, but faith refuses to give reality the final say.

After the second surgery to clean the infection and dead tissue from the face.

I think of salvation. It is God’s will that all should be saved, yet not everyone is saved. That does not mean God does not want them saved. It means there are battles, barriers, lies, and choices involved. Healing is no different.

This past week has shown me this, that God’s will is clear, but the fight to see it manifest is real.

Many people in Word of Faith circles end up crushed or criticing themselves or others under condemnation. The thought comes, “If I had more faith, this would already be over.” I have fought those thoughts too. But then I remember Paul’s words to Timothy. He said, “Fight the good fight of faith.” A fight means resistance. A fight means there will be blows and setbacks. A fight means you may get weary, but you do not stop. That does not mean God lied, and it does not mean I am failing. It means we are in a spiritual battle and the enemy hates what God has promised.

So right now, in the middle of this painful journey with my son, I have resolved where I stand. I will not water down God’s Word to match my son’s pain. I will declare healing over his body even when the doctors prepare us for more surgeries.

I will cry, but I will also pray with authority because Jesus already bore sickness and disease on the cross. I will not let anger push me away from God. Instead I will use it as fuel for a stubborn and unrelenting faith.

My son’s tears break me. They make me want to scream. But they also drive me back to the heart of God. They push me to press deeper into His promises, not away from them. I may not understand everything right now, but I do know this. God has never lied to me. His Word is unshakable. Healing is His will. And I will fight until my son’s body reflects the truth of what Jesus already paid for.

This is not a polished testimony with a bow tied neatly on top. It is the testimony of someone still in the fire. But I believe with everything in me that God’s Word will have the final say. And until I see it with my eyes, I will hold fast to His promises and not let go.

After the third surgery with the infection finally coming under control.